A Cautionary Tale

We sold our house last month and we’re house hunting. You’d think it would be easy. There are many houses on the market.

We thought we found one this week. It was in the right neighborhood and had the right floor plan. But there was a catch. As we are learning, there's always a catch.

The house suffered from severe neglect. From the outside it looked fine but when we opened the door we were hit with the distinct odor of too many dogs and not enough cleaning products. The carpet was a mess - red stain, blue stain, one stain, two stain. Black stain, brown stain, all around the town stain.

None of the smaller bedrooms had closet doors, and not a single interior door latched. The master bathroom was a mess. Couldn’t even open the shower door EEWWWWWWWWWWW.

I dared not enter the hall bathroom. I just knew it would be like walking into the unisex bathroom of a Texaco station in the middle of the desert where water is scarce and Lysol is scarcer.

The kitchen had old formica counters and dark wood cabinets. I could have lived with the cabinets but at least one drawer face was missing. The range was circa 1980 with a microwave connected to it at the top. This particular microwave included a large burn mark where this family had burned Dinty Moore stew or whatever it is people like this eat. Next to the range was a smaller microwave on the counter which led me to believe the built-in didn’t work.

The ceiling in the kitchen included an unfinished lighting project. No cover on the fluorescent bulbs which didn't really matter, since half the bulbs were missing anyway.

The backyard was another testament to the sensibilities of the residents. No landscaping to speak of unless you like dried out weeds and dirt. I suppose it could be called natural and might even work if it were in one of the tony desert enclaves in Cave Creek or Carefree, Arizona. But out there, the dried grasses and dirt also include some well placed cactus and desert flowers -- at least a Palo Verde tree.

The pool was okay. A diving pool minus the diving board. The kool deck had gashes, holes and substantial cracks.

Oh and did I mention that this gem is around the corner from a house facing imminent foreclosure and another place that's been on the market for nearly 3 years?

So, there you have it. You're wondering why we even looked at it? Well, we can see past the grime and the dirt and the stains and the aged dog poo. I could even imagine a day when the odor turned from stale dog urine to spicy potpourri or cranberry candles. So what is this leading to? We offered $94,000 less than the asking price. We knew we were taking a big chance but the repairs to make it livable totalled a conservative $58,000. And we thought the sellers might realize that few people will make it past the odoriferous foyer.

We also factored in our time and the fact that we had just spent about $10,000 fixing up our house. We settled for $50,000 less than our original asking price and we were happy to get it. And I'm proud to report that no one entered our house unless we had vacuumed, spritzed and polished it to a shiny palace.

So, why am I telling you this? I'm not sure, mostly I just want to complain about the idiotic sellers. We have run across this more than once. Sellers who are insulted by our painstakingly researched offers. In one case the house we wanted went to auction 2 weeks after they refused our offer. The auction reaped $45,000 less than our offer. So because of someone's arrogance, the bank took an additional $45,000 hit on an already losing proposition.

So good luck to all of you out there. I hope you are having better luck finding your dream house. We know that if we are patient, our perfect casa is out there waiting for us. In the meantime, I'll keep you posted.