Joie de Vivre

My favorite people are those who embrace life and find joy in both the big things and the little things. I love people who are curious and who have enthusiasm and a good sense of humor. I mention this because I just found out that one of my old friends who epitomizes all these things has died.


Twenty eight years ago, my boyfriend, Al Bergsten, had joie de vivre. He inhaled life like it was a sweet perfume. Last night as I sheepishly googled him -- Beware! I Google everyone I've ever known -- I found his obituary. To say I was stunned is mild.



After we broke up, he'd call or stop by every now and then, but once I found Lynn the calls stopped and that was that. Every few years I'd think about him and wonder how he was. I'd think about calling him but I never did. Oh how I wish I had.



I think he is the most intelligent person I've ever known. He was always reading and his vocabulary was intimidating. He introduced me to Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light which to this day, is one of my favorite songs. He made the best green chili burros and he thought I was sexy (at least for a little while!) Although he was 6'3" he was very approachable and strangers always talked to him. He had sandy brown hair and a full beard and I loved the David Letterman-like space between his front teeth. He was very loud but not in a bad way. It was in a way that drew you in.



He was the first guy I ever loved and he's the first guy who ever said those words to me (for the record, he said it first!) Our relationship was short-lived but thoroughly intense. Oh, he broke my heart into a million pieces and I hated him for a few months, but after that we became friends and our relationship was honest and sweet (booty calls notwithstanding).



Of particularly sad irony is that his wife died about 6 months before he did. Her obituary notes that Al treated her like a queen. I'm so glad he found someone who made him happy. He died about two weeks after his 57th birthday. His death in December and his wife's in May -- I've got to think that he died of a broken heart.


And last night my heart broke a little bit too.


So here's to you my old friend. I will never forget you.